Okay... i had a wonderful weekend. shopping, chilling and resting. all tt i wanna do, i did it. and yes im happy with the things i buy, had fun chilling with my frens n wow, i turned in at 11+ last night. when i woke up this morning, the room was freaking cold. curled under my blanket, i smelled my baby bolster for a lil longer. the feeling was SHIOK! and since i had 1 more hour of sleep than usual. i was feeling great. n i bet this week gonna be a wonderful week.
BUT. 1 hr ago, i received a call from my mom. they going malaysia for a few daes. isnt it great? i have the whole house to myself. BUT. my grand pa passed awae. i got a shock. but i didnt cry. hmmm.. i feel weird? like theres this sour feeling in my heart. a mixture of sad n duno what.
when i learnt tt my grandpa got this illness. eh. wats tt call? starting with A? u know when u old then u start forgetting ppl . tt illness. n then he cant walk eh.. i think he got stroke? oh shit. im confused. my maternal grandfather jus got stroke last mth. i cant rmb whether my paternal grandfather got stroke too. but anyway, he cant remember some ppl. he cant bathe himself. n he will jus urine while sitting on couch. anyway, i felt tt he was suffering. when i attended church with my aunt. they were tokign abt heaven. why shud we plan for the our after life? the ans fr the pastor is tt, after life is eternal. while we are alive now its only 70 -80 yrs. comparing 70-80 yrs to eternity. of cos after life is much longer n we got to plan for our after life. n on earth, we are really suffering. theres backtabbing theres this n tt. nothing can be compared to returning to our Father's side. anyway, while im feeling relieved tt my grand pa's sufferings are over. i feel sad. cos he isnt a christian. means... more sufferings??
Sigh... so sad, but aint crying out tt kinda sad. cos i aint close with my grandfather. he lived in malaysia n i live in singapore. but what makes me sad now is my father. i remembered few yrs back. when i learnt tt my grand mother passed awae. i felt the same as now. cos i aint close with her. but my eyes became teary when i saw my dad cried. Boohoo.. now my eyes teary.. cos i am picturing my dad. hai.. yeah there he was, foreva a tough man. a MCP. those kinda cool dad, when u see him sitting on the couch smoking awae n stoning. u know tt hes feeling down. but he nv reveal. im a chip of the old block. anyway, when i see his eyes teary , mine became teary too. cos daddy has owas been the most fillial child. n i know he loved my grandparents alot. now i cant imagine how my dad feels. lucky for me, i dun have to see my dad looking upset. my mom told me to stay in singapore i dun have to go back with them. but nvm. im a strong gal , so is my dad. he will be alrite.
daddy, i know u wun read this. but deep down i love u n mummy the most. sorry for the times when ive got my worst attitude. but deep down i know u guys care. and yeah..each time i said out sth tt hurt u guys, i go back to my room feeling real guilty. sorry.. while im able to tell my mother i love her. i cant seem to tell tt to my daddy. i love u too, daddy.
BUT. 1 hr ago, i received a call from my mom. they going malaysia for a few daes. isnt it great? i have the whole house to myself. BUT. my grand pa passed awae. i got a shock. but i didnt cry. hmmm.. i feel weird? like theres this sour feeling in my heart. a mixture of sad n duno what.
when i learnt tt my grandpa got this illness. eh. wats tt call? starting with A? u know when u old then u start forgetting ppl . tt illness. n then he cant walk eh.. i think he got stroke? oh shit. im confused. my maternal grandfather jus got stroke last mth. i cant rmb whether my paternal grandfather got stroke too. but anyway, he cant remember some ppl. he cant bathe himself. n he will jus urine while sitting on couch. anyway, i felt tt he was suffering. when i attended church with my aunt. they were tokign abt heaven. why shud we plan for the our after life? the ans fr the pastor is tt, after life is eternal. while we are alive now its only 70 -80 yrs. comparing 70-80 yrs to eternity. of cos after life is much longer n we got to plan for our after life. n on earth, we are really suffering. theres backtabbing theres this n tt. nothing can be compared to returning to our Father's side. anyway, while im feeling relieved tt my grand pa's sufferings are over. i feel sad. cos he isnt a christian. means... more sufferings??
Sigh... so sad, but aint crying out tt kinda sad. cos i aint close with my grandfather. he lived in malaysia n i live in singapore. but what makes me sad now is my father. i remembered few yrs back. when i learnt tt my grand mother passed awae. i felt the same as now. cos i aint close with her. but my eyes became teary when i saw my dad cried. Boohoo.. now my eyes teary.. cos i am picturing my dad. hai.. yeah there he was, foreva a tough man. a MCP. those kinda cool dad, when u see him sitting on the couch smoking awae n stoning. u know tt hes feeling down. but he nv reveal. im a chip of the old block. anyway, when i see his eyes teary , mine became teary too. cos daddy has owas been the most fillial child. n i know he loved my grandparents alot. now i cant imagine how my dad feels. lucky for me, i dun have to see my dad looking upset. my mom told me to stay in singapore i dun have to go back with them. but nvm. im a strong gal , so is my dad. he will be alrite.
daddy, i know u wun read this. but deep down i love u n mummy the most. sorry for the times when ive got my worst attitude. but deep down i know u guys care. and yeah..each time i said out sth tt hurt u guys, i go back to my room feeling real guilty. sorry.. while im able to tell my mother i love her. i cant seem to tell tt to my daddy. i love u too, daddy.
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